The Setup
Watching the recentish Blockbuster tv show made me want to put on a blue polo, start sorting returned movies, and slot those puppies back into their homes on the New Release wall. To this day I get excited when I find out somebody worked at or has a Blockbuster connection. I still know my employee ID. I have several old name tags stashed away, all covered with various stickers, labels, or whatever else we were using that shift to decorate. Working at Blockbuster felt like what I imagine a librarian feels working at a library, but for movies. And partying. A party library for movies that sells 2 for $5 candy.
I was hired at $6.50/hr. I was lucky if I got yearly raises above 10 cents. I had to deal with people paying with wet money sometimes. Despite this, I loved working at Blockbuster. The 5 (10?) free movie rentals per week^[!] placated my financial growth desires. Plus I worked with the oddest collection of people, and their weird meshed well with my weird.
More than any job I have held before or since, it was a club.
Movies helped shape me growing up, both in their own stories and the ones created with my family as we watched a wild collection of VHS tapes. Thankfully, I joined Blockbuster as a customer service representative (CSR) after tape fell out of fashion. Never once did I rewind in the service of the ol’ Blue and Yellow. Instead, DVD was firmly entrenched, with the hot new HD DVD and Blu-ray slugging it out. For a time my store carried both, not yet ready to DTR and go exclusive.
My store was the smallest one in the city/county/region/state/world?, and looked like it had once been a small Taco Bell. NOTE: prior to The Blockbuster Desolation, this store closed and became a karate dojo. We had a small staff, and I was pretty good at my job so quickly became a shift lead. This meant a lot more responsibility and a tiny bit more money. I accepted instantly.
I got to do the opening Sunday shift on my own. In Utah, that meant I got to sit at a store that was open, alone, and just work on what needed worked on without having to deal with anybody. Occasionally a regular would stop by. The church-goers who were pretending not to be at Blockbuster on a Sunday didn’t come until the afternoon shift. Sunday morning open was the best shift.
But oh, those Blockbuster nights
I was a shift lead for a while, running money to the bank on my Schwinn, handling custies^[customers, but cool], and simply enjoying my time there. The store manager liked me, I did good work, and the crew all got along. We had a vacancy for the assistant store manager (ASM) position, which I was feeling pretty good about. I can confidently say I was the best employee at the store. That isn’t as impressive when you know that there were only about 5 people to compete with. Tiny store, 20% chance I am the best, just believe me.
My confidence was warranted and the store manager had me start working on the training modules to be the store’s missing ASM. This involved getting paid to sit on a terrible computer in the back room and click through poorly voiced, slow as molasses training slides. Plus the occasional creep on my front desk comrades because the security camera feeds are right there. Just like angels who hang out in outfields, I’m always watching.
To summarize:
- store needs assistant manager
- I can be that
- current store manager tells me to train for it
- I start to train for it
- new hire flies in from Seattle and is the new assistant store manager
- …
I did not get the job. Turns out there is a power higher than store manager, THE DISTRICT.
THE DISTRICT didn’t like my store manager. Because of this, THE DISTRICT chose his new assistant for him, and their choice brought in somebody from out of state looking to move back home. I don’t fully remember how I found out, but I think I came in to work and the new assistant (to the) store manager was sitting in MY chair on MY terrible computer clicking on MY slow slides.
Finding out you didn’t get a job by meeting a person actively doing that job is a tough introduction. Luckily that person had cute red hair, loved movies, and was funny as hell. It didn’t take long to figure this out because of the…you know…tiny store. We often had overlapping shifts, and as the top 2 employees of the store we got a lot of good stuff done.
One thing led to another. One night post-shift, most of the store was over at my place to party (party librarians!!!). After a long night of Halo, Bomberman, and waiting for everyone else to get tired and go home, the tied-for-first-best employees got cute and kissed.
One thing once again led to another, and I was ousted from Blockbuster because I was in a relationship with someone who was technically my boss. Sometimes you outgrow the coop and my tiny Blockbuster was smaller than my relationship. Thinking it the end of my movie rental career, I started doing custodial work at the university I was attending, and kept dating her.
A few years later we got married at the local library. The reception, which some call a party, also took place at the library. Our wedding announcements were miniature movie posters. A Blues Brothers cover band (my uncle!) played at the reception, and movie theater candy was served.
We are happily married living back in the Seattle area. For our most recent anniversary we each wore our Blockbuster name tags.
Like a beautiful blond pineapple
A few years after leaving^[you know, a lot of people go to college for seven years], I rejoined Blockbuster. There were still several Blockbusters in the area and once you have a taste of free rentals it is hard to stay away. The store I joined was several times larger than my last tiny home experience and right at the intersection of two busy streets. Between that and it being located next door to a Little Caesars, this was going to be a pretty different experience. They did not need shift leads so I was back to being the bottom of the power rung.
Turns out having no real responsibility was pretty cool. Generally people don’t want to work weekends, and in a religious community Sunday gets a double bounce of “not it”. I liked working Sundays so “took one for the team” and got that shift back again. Sunday opener = best shift.
Because I was now a lowly CSR, I had to work with a shift lead. I was regularly paired up with a dude that somewhat looks like a blond Kevin Bacon. He hates that comparison the same way I hate when people tell me I look like Screech from Saved by the Bell. Some truths are cooler than other truths.
Blondie and I bonded primarily over two activities.
- Burger King Icee treats
- Mr. Troop Mom obstacle course
At some point Burger King got something right and made some sort of Icee float that used fluorescent red slushy instead of root beer. That drink was deeeeeelicious. It was also dangerous. Icee treats were -300 degrees, stayed that way for hours, and gave an instant brain freeze when drinking it. Like a jedi training his padawan, the shift lead trained this customer service representative one sip at a time. Didn’t matter which shift, if we were working together we got those drinks.
Seriously, we drank these a lot. It is nearing 2 decades later and one of the things I want to talk about is a red slushy.
One thing led to another. We started trying to game the schedule to work shifts together because friends gotta friend together. With Sunday opener now officially a Funday opener, we started to get creative in how we filled the down time. The event of the shift became our races. Holding on tight to a rolly chair, we took turns wheeling around the store in a set obstacle course. Times were recorded, victories were undeniable, and the glory lasted until the next shift. Or until somebody rented Mr. Troop Mom.
The entire time I worked at Blockbuster I don’t recall ever renting out Mr. Troop Mom, featuring George Lopez. Because of this, the official scorecard of the obstacle course race was a piece of receipt tape tucked into the back cover of Mr. Troop Mom. Since nobody ever rented it, our scores were secure and never going anywhere.
That shift lead and I are best friends to this day. He is the Cutter to my Skywise. Despite ending up in different states, we visit each other often. During my most recent visit the first thing I saw when opening his door was a blue and yellow ticket stub blanket draped over his couch.
More than any job I have held before or since, Blockbuster was a club.
